Cause me to dream again

Mary Elizabeth Hanchey.  Mary Elizabeth Hanchey is a member of Watts Street Baptist Church and a Project Pomegranate coordinator.  This response is certainly informed by personal experience, but also from the grief of ministering among  so many who have lost.

 

You knit me together in my mother’s womb,

And so, also, you knit together this child,

This mystery that was growing inside of me

That I dreamed of beholding new, and fresh, and beautifully crafted.

 

But her body did not work.

He failed to thrive.

And I cannot give name to her gender, to his eye color,

to anything about this child other than my own dream of beholding her new, and fresh, and beautifully crafted.

 

But I can name my grief: horrified.

I have a score to settle with You.

You, keeper of Lazarus,

You, not safe but good,

You, trinity,

You, who absorb my anguish until I am wrung out

and no longer drowning,

You, guardian of Mystery.

 

My weeping merely waters pansies late in May.

There will be no revival.

Not water, nor weeping, nor pleading will restore.

Cause me to dream again of what is new and fresh and beautifully created.